We all do. We've all been in that place where we procrastinate because we simply can't make up our mind. How about ruminating on past decisions and wondering if in the end, it would have been better to choose something else?
Every step we take starts with a decision. The truth we have a hard time admitting is that most of those decisions are unconscious. Our body and mind are programmed to move in a certain direction based on our past experience. More on that in another post.
When we live intentionally, we are able to pause and consciously make decisions. This is particularly important when we realize that our preprogrammed way of being is no longer serving us.
But making conscious decisions is no easy task. For anyone who has ever done a pros and cons list, you know what I mean. As soon as you finish, you go and ask your friends and family what they think, consult Google and before you know it, you are in a state of overwhelm.
Using your core values can be the compass that will guide your decision making regardless of circumstances. But listen to your intuition first!
I use my values as a framework for making decisions. I find it not only effective in the sense of speeding up the process, but it also makes me feel at peace. I know I have a method and while my decision might not prove the best in the end, I made it consciously and in alignment with the principles that guide my life.
I will admit that I did not always know this and I regret all the time and money I wasted because I was not clear on my values. I always believed that freedom is by far my most important value, but I was not living in a way that created freedom in my life. Certainly when it comes to money, I did not truly understand what it means to honor my value of freedom in the way I was using my financial resources. I know better and I do better now and I want the same for you.
What does it take to make decisions in alignment with your values? Clarity is one of my favourite words. Let's get to it!
Defining your values is the first step. Most people can’t be bothered to do it. I think partly because many of us have a poor experience of seeing corporate values written in a strategic plan and never really operationalized. It’s like a plaque on the wall. Why do we need this for our personal lives?
Creating a list of 3 to 5 values is optimal. You can start by looking at a predefined list such as the one available on Brenee Brown’s website.
If you are struggling to settle, one good way to decide what is a value for you is to think of a time when you had to do something that did not feel right. It is likely in that situation you were not honoring one of your values, so it felt wrong.
Once you have a set of values, you will need to define them. Yes, you will literally write what each value means to you. Don’t look at the dictionary! The way we define a value is personal and so, it is important to create your own definition.
The next step is to ask the following questions for each of your values:
✅How is my day-to-day life aligned with this value?
✅Does my calendar and the way I spend my money reflect this value?
If not, what would need to change to have it reflected in my life? or Is this value something I chose from the list, but I don’t actually want in my life?
Once you are clear on your values, you can immediately start using them to make decisions. Here are some practical ways to do so:
✅How you use your financial resources: If I spend money on this, what value am I honoring or not honoring?
✅The use of your time: Will saying yes to this opportunity be aligned with my values?
✅I like to think of investing vs. spending time or money to live in alignment with my values. If it does not feel like an investment and it is not a necessity (yes, I have to wash dishes and do laundry too!), then why would I do it?
✅How will this new job align with my values? What about the new team I would have to join? Do they have similar values?
✅What value am I not honoring if I don't say anything in this meeting despite seeing a decision is about to be made that does not feel right?
Values evolve over time. As you grow into an expanded version of yourself, your values will likely transition as well. Checking your list and their relevance should happen once a year, likely around the time you are setting your yearly goals, but not necessarily.
I'd love to hear how you are using your values to make decisions. Or, if you have difficulty in articulating your values, I would also like to hear from you.
To see a recent related post on Instagram, click here.
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