"Growth mindset" in real life

A former colleague of mine, now a friend, introduced me to the term "growth mindset". This was some years ago. Since then, I heard the term many times and read Carol Dweck's book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success where she explores the differences between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset.

Just last week we studied Chapter 2 of this book in the Executive Coaching program I am enrolled in. The content was certainly not new to me, but as I reflected on the reading and my life, I was able to pinpoint specific scenarios where one mindset or the other affected my life. I was then able to see exactly how those stories contributed to my paradigm. In doing so, I know I am better prepared to spot current and future circumstances and interrupt patterns of behaviour. Applying this to my life and to my coaching practice is true learning. Otherwise, it would still be a chapter in a book as a required reading.

Here is a true story:

Growing up I was told by multiple people and came to believe that I was not good at any athletic activities. The messages came to me from different sources over the course of many years. By the time I was in grade 5 or 6, it was evident that participation in gym class was always a disaster. This was in the early 90's in Romania. Evaluation in gym was based on one's ability to pass various tests such as jumping, throwing or running. There were marks given depending on how fast one was, how high they were throwing a ball, etc. My efforts were clearly not worthy of high marks. Since I was an otherwise excellent student who had really good marks, the teacher suggested that in order to avoid getting low marks in gym which would then lower my average and as a result, my ability to win a year-end prize (don't even remind me of that nonsense), I should instead get a medical certificate indicating I was suffering from some condition that prevented me from participating in gym. As unbelievable as that sounds now, it is true. I was also not the only one, I know many people who were doing the same thing.

And so, that's what my family did. Since I was unable to get good marks in gym which would result in the risk of not winning the year-end first or second or whatever prize, it was better not to participate at all. Not only that, but this reinforced my belief that I was bad in sports.

While I attempted to play tennis for a summer or two after that, the conclusion to all of this was that I was never going to be able to engage in any kind of athletic activities. No one was talking back then about small wins or growth mindset.

Fast forward about 15 years or so, I really wanted to try yoga. So many people were talking about it, I felt an attraction to it and yet, I firmly believed that I could not do it. I was convinced that I am not someone who is able to engage in a physical activity. I was identifying myself with my belief. But somehow, I must have found the courage to try it. Fast forward to today, it has been about 15 years and I cannot imagine my life without yoga. Not only the physical aspect of it, but the mental clarity it gives me, the space to think and be, the connections to amazing human beings and the spiritual link it opened for me. There are no marks given. It is a practice that is imperfect and it is so freeing. It gives me peace and makes me happy. It also challenged my paradigm and completely destroyed it. It allowed me to try paddleboarding which is a continuous work in progress and next summer I am hoping to add tennis back into my life.

My family and my teachers definitely had a fixed mindset when it came to my athletic abilities. I am not here to judge them, they simply didn't know any better. What I take away from this life lesson that impacted me much more than a few paragraphs can portray is that when we have a growth mindset and focus our attention on really small wins we build our trust in ourselves and there is nothing more powerful than that. Practicing this not only on ourselves, but on our children, our loved ones and our teams at work can have multiplying effects that can impact our society and the amazing lives we all deserve to live.