I just hired a new manager. Now what?

Those who read this blog are either formally in a leadership position or aspire to one.  Some have large teams, others are in the early stages of their careers.  Regardless of where people find themselves on the continuum, one of the questions they often think about is:  What skill should I develop to be an effective leader? OR What skill should I help leaders who are part of my team develop?

So I asked my LinkedIn network the following question:

When you hire a new manager or supervisor, what is the one skill you want them to develop first?

And what I got back from them is depicted in the graphic below:

Top 3 Skills for New Leaders as identified in a survey of my LinkedIn network

Overwhelmingly, emotional intelligence is at the top of the list.  The term was made popular by Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence first published in 1995.  Like any other term that is widely used, sometimes we need to clarify exactly what it means.  Here are the skills identified by the author as making up emotional intelligence:

• Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one's emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and values. Self-awareness involves understanding how emotions affect our performance and decision-making.

• Self-Regulation: The capacity to manage one's emotions effectively, controlling impulsive feelings and behaviours, staying calm, and thinking clearly during stressful situations. It also includes adaptability and the ability to handle change.

• Motivation: A drive to achieve, characterized by passion, commitment, and the ability to persist in the face of setbacks. Intrinsic motivation is another way of referring to it.  People with high motivation are goal-oriented.

• Empathy: The ability to understand another person’s emotions and experiences. Empathy involves considering others' feelings, especially when making decisions. This competency is crucial for effective communication, collaboration, and leadership.

• Social Skills: Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks. This includes the ability to influence and inspire others, resolve conflicts, communicate clearly, and manage change effectively. People with strong social skills are often good team leaders and are adept at building and maintaining relationships.

  
  

The good news is that like a muscle, we can develop skills.  How do we do that though?  With intention, we put ourselves in situations where we are able to practice the skill.  We observe and have others observe us.  We ask for feedback and reflect.  And next time, we tweak our approach with the goal of getting better at it.  

Since I asked those currently in leadership positions this question and since they all have teams and want to develop emotional intelligence skills in their leaders, the question I set to answer is:  What can I do to develop these skills within my team?

Truthfully, there are so many ways of going about it.  And another leadership course is not always the answer.  As a coach and a leader with a large team, here are my top 5 recommendations for how to develop emotional intelligence in your leaders.  Whether new managers or more experienced ones, we can all improve in this area

• Deliberately create situations where people can develop these skills.  For example, let new leaders develop and communicate key messages to the team which gives them the opportunity to practice influencing and inspiring others.  Then, be their partner as they reflect on what went well and what they could have done better.  Let them share their reflections, don’t jump to give them feedback!

• Start meetings by asking how people feel.  As they start sharing, ask where those sensations are in their body.  Yes, I know this is uncomfortable if you haven’t done it before.  Maybe it is an area of growth for you as well.  Make use of tools like the Wheel of Emotions (Robert Plutchick) to better label emotions. 

• Embody presence.  I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to be fully present and engaged with the person or the group of people in front of us.  Self-regulation drives co-regulation.  If I can maintain a sense of calm in the present moment, I will create the space for my team to think clearly and stay grounded.  Breathing is an easy tool to do that.  Keep your exhales longer than your inhales to calm your body.

  
  

• Use your 1-on-1 meetings to help your leaders expand their self-awareness.  Asking questions such as “Who do you need to be?” to accomplish whatever goal they said they want to accomplish allows them to no longer think in terms of doing, but in terms of being.  All change starts with an identity change, so it is important for them to realize that so that they can deliberately take action in that direction.

  
  

• Digging into “the why” someone is motivated to reach a goal is even more important than the goal itself.  You can help a new leader by asking “Why is this goal important to you?” or “What will be different for you when you reach it?”.  Putting things into perspective allows them to “connect the dots” and see how who they are being needs to be aligned with the goal which matters greatly to them for one reason or another.

  
  

I always say that our job as leaders is to develop leaders.  Being intentional in what you do to develop your team is far more important in the long run than the reports you prepare or the presentations you give.  The more competent, confident and skilled your team becomes, the more likely it is that you will achieve better results for the organization and that you will have the time to do the things you are uniquely qualified to do.

I help leaders create clarity and take aligned action using 3 foundational elements:  self-awareness, mindset and energy management.  We build systems that create results. Learn more here.

And let me know what you’re doing to develop emotional intelligence in your team.  We all have so much to learn in this area.